I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
