I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
