Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
