It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
