were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
