guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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