My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
