oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
50% drunk capacity currently
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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