I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize