i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize