Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize