Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
