I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
