all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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