got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize