last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
