i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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