plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
People in love make me want to vomit
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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