last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
