I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
