oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
