she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize