Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
