Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
