Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
