no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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