i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
