Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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