so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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