It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
