I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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