so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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