you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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