your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
