I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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