I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My vagina just recognized that song.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
