The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
