Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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