I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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