Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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