Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
