No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
me + whiskey = a bad person
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
