my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
