is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize