i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ketchup is God's man juice
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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