we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
