Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
