So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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