I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
