It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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