i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
