Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
