i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
