I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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