We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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