Betty ford says i'm here all night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
