I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
