He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize